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Surrendering and letting go of old patterns...

A lot of my personal reflection over the last few months has been around the relationships in my life, the type of energy, people that I want around me and what I still need to let go of and release from my past. The energy I am being pulled towards has me healing all things relationships, this feels like relationships in all areas of my life – friends, intimate, work, family, etc. So with the feeling of the current energy in mind and the prospect of moving into a new year….I am calling it….I am jumping off the merry go round….I am tired of circling around in the same patterns, energy and feelings with some people. I am tired. I am tired of carrying the anger, hurt, sadness and frustration…that inevitably rears its head when I circle back around. I am finally…really…ready to let go of it for good. It is exhausting to also try to keep all these balls in the air, keep everyone happy and fulfilled at my own expense, constantly being triggered as I miss the opportunity to heal, release and move on. I am ready to call back my power and stand in my truth around relationships. No more giving away my power, no more pleasing others at the expense of my own needs and no more putting up with being treated as though I am less than. Can you relate? Are there relationships in your life that trigger you? Or maybe leave you feeling less than, angry, confused or frustrated? Can you see where you might have been giving away your power and not standing in your truth? Maybe you feel like me or maybe you are just starting to get to that point, not sure if you are ready to stand up and reclaim your power, reclaim your power around relationships. It is such a tricky balance as our ego mind will be quick to jump in and trigger us around abandonment or self-worth issues which can cripple us into playing small and dimming our light, all because we fear being alone and not being liked/loved or having any people in our lives. Start with small steps and make small decisions and choices, each and every day, there is no need to simply cut ties with everyone in your life or make any rash drastic decisions. It might sound like I am sweeping a sword through all the people in my life but that is very far from the truth. The first step in shifting the quality of relationships in your life is to reclaim your own personal power, i.e. start to be clear with healthy boundaries around what you will and won’t except, get comfortable saying no sometimes or at least saying ‘can I get back to you on that’ and give yourself some time and space to sit with whether it feels like it’s in your best interests to say yes or no. It is about being super clear and super honest with yourself about what you will or won’t except, what is it you want from the people in your life and how do you want to feel in their company and when you leave their company. Sometimes it will be allowing things to just ‘be’ with a person or situation, not taking any action at all but allowing it to sit where it is at rather than focusing any energy towards it. Often when we remove our energy from something we allow it to naturally run its course, and in moments of in-action, patience, stillness is enough. Part of maintaining healthy boundaries means also knowing when to forgive and allow release of the emotions and feelings. There is a tricky relationship in my life that I cannot avoid and I am constantly being triggered by, it’s a seesaw effect, sometimes I am up and managing it with flow and then sometimes I am down, feeling trapped, angry and resentful. I have been guided to find a place of forgiveness within me for this person, this relationship, as the emotional impact is being left with me. The buried frustration, anger and sadness is creating a platform of resentment growing into bitterness that does not serve me well. I don’t want to be a person filled with anger, bitterness or resentment and I don’t like how that reflects in other areas of my life including other relationships. I liken it to feeling Scrooge like….to use a Christmas analogy….I feel like I have become the Bah Humbug Scrooge in my own life. When we hold onto grudges and wounds we tend to create imbalance and disharmony in our life. Forgiveness requires us to bring love, understanding and compassion in to allow healing to occur in situation, and to our mind body and spirit. This will take great courage as the ego mind will be quick to remind us that it is much easier to sit in the safe place of anger, resentment and bitterness. But when we can forgive we set ourselves free from this stuck, stagnant energy and beliefs and allows healing to occur leaving us feeling light and free, and at peace. Creating a higher vibrational space that allows new aligned relationships, events, situations and opportunities into our life. Perhaps take some time to see what areas of your life and what people in your life you are holding onto you and where you can bring in love, attention and forgiveness for healing. As we begin to close out 2019 it is the perfect time to let go and release some old patterns and beliefs before moving into the New Year, start feeling into this now and don’t wait for the New Year to start resolutions or make change….start now and feel into what doesn’t serve you so that you can start 2020 in the best possible way and make the most of growth and opportunities moving into 2020.

Love and light,

Affirmations to support you during this month I create and set boundaries that protect my time, energy, creativity

and emotional wellbeing with ease.”

“I forgive freely and my heart is full of unconditional love, compassion and understanding.”

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