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Limiting beliefs - What are they and how to transform them...

Identifying the patterns or behaviours that have dimmed your light or why, where you have allowed others needs to be more important than yours, is an important step on your self-awareness journey.

You will need to get underneath the surface to become aware of what limiting beliefs you might hold and that are preventing you from really embodying your true self as often it is these beliefs being held in your subconscious mind that are holding you back.

Limiting beliefs, are beliefs (or programming) where you believe something to be true and this then limits you in some way and this could be about you, other people or life. Often beliefs are being constantly run in your subconscious mind, therefore without you even being aware of them, and what they do is then hold you back from reaching your full potential.

  • They keep you in patterns where you keep making the same mistakes over and over again

  • They hold you back from following your dreams

  • They affect your ability to progress in your career

  • They make you fearful and anxious

  • They make you feel undeserving

  • They affect your self-esteem and your confidence

  • They affect you in love and relationships

And because many of these limiting beliefs are held in the subconscious mind, you might not even know that you have them!

How can you tell if you have limiting beliefs affecting your life?

You might experience addictive behaviours for example smoking, alcohol, drugs, gambling, eating disorders, etc. Or you may experience feelings such as:

  • Numb

  • Flat

  • Like everything feels wrong

  • Nothing you do is right

  • Nervous about making suggestions

  • Jealous of other people’s lives

  • That everyone else’s life is better than yours

Where do limiting beliefs come from?

Limiting beliefs are often created in our early childhood, from age 0-7 when our brains are still developing and we can’t tell what is real or not, we pick up our beliefs from our immediate environment. This is usually via our parents, siblings, care givers, teachers, family members, anyone that is a fairly significant figure in our lives.

For example – if a child experiences a situation or event, they then make an interpretation of that situation or event in their mind, which then leads to creating a meaning in their mind and from there a thought. The child then believes that thought, whether true or not, and when faced with a similar situation or event they believe the same thought and kept thinking that every time. Consequently, it then becomes a belief.

Limiting beliefs can also be formed throughout our life via education, cultural or society norms, a fear or an excuse.

Limiting beliefs will often sound like I don’t, I can’t, I mustn’t, I am not, others are/will, the world doesn’t work like that for me or things like that don’t happen to me.

Some of the types of limiting beliefs you might encounter are:

  • I am not good enough

  • I am not lovable/pretty/liked/rich/tall/fit

  • I can’t do anything right

  • I don’t deserve good things

  • I mustn’t do that as….

  • Others (or ‘name’) will be better at that than me or is better than me

  • Nothing good ever happens to me / I don’t deserve anything good

  • I am going to fail so why bother trying

  • I don’t have enough…skills/experience/money/friends

Can these beliefs be changed?

Beliefs can certainly be changed with a lot of time, patience and commitment to the inner work and awareness is really the key!

So I suggest you start by sitting with a pen and paper and objectively looking at some of these examples I have given above, are they true for you?

What others like that do you use? Write down as many as you can think of.

Spend some time here to really dig within, this may take some time or several attempts, but be as honest as you can with yourself.

Then using this list, have a look at commonality’s or themes and maybe group them into the I don’t, I can’t, I mustn’t, etc and then dig a little deeper and see how far back you can remember to when you first started feeling that way or using those words. See if you can pinpoint when these beliefs might have developed or whether there was a parent or significant figure in your life that might have had the same belief systems and you have inherited theirs.

From here I want you to sit with how these beliefs are limiting you now. What are you not doing, afraid to do or how are these feelings and thoughts about yourself affecting your life in the present.

This might be confronting and challenging, so be kind on yourself here and don’t overthink it! You have taken the first step by becoming aware and shining the light on these beliefs so pat yourself on the back here. There will be many more steps on the journey and you should celebrate each step you take!

Now that you have recognised the beliefs and maybe where they have originated from, the next step is recognise the falsehood behind this belief.

Taking time to reflect on this and how false this belief is and how it has limited you in the past. This might bring up some anger or sadness or perhaps even frustration. Allow yourself to feel whatever it is that comes up and honour that within, finding a place of acceptance within for where you are at right now and that no one is perfect! Again don’t be too hard on yourself at this stage, we are all learning, growing, evolving beings and so are you here, be open and ready for change and it will serve you well in moving past these old beliefs.

Now you are ready to form empowering new beliefs!

This means taking your old negative beliefs and forming a positive statement. This should be achievable and realistic and might not sound the same for each one as sometimes we need to feel and believe we ‘can’ do something rather than diving straight in “I am….”.

So read the now positive belief aloud and try it a few ways, see how it feels.

Does it make you feel uncomfortable to say I am enough?

Does it feel better right now to start with I can be enough?

When you have settled on your new belief statements and, depending on how many you have you may like to start with one that you would like to see that area of your life change, then begin to use it like an affirmation.

The more you repeat it, see it and use it in your life the more your mind will also begin to ‘believe’ it. In that way you are reprogramming the pattern around the belief so in future your mind will recognise and respond to the empowering belief.

Practice the empowering beliefs in your day to day life, be sure to take note of successes and little wins along the way. I often suggest to clients that much like a gratitude journal, jot down 3 things daily that you have done differently to the past or a new activity, situation or action that you have taken due to this new belief. Some days there might only be 1 but I guarantee you will always find a little win in the day.

Keep building on this success, each little step is building evidence for your mind and body to integrate a new way of being so celebrate this along the journey. I can certainly say that it is not an easy process and some days will be tougher than others but the reward is living your best life with freedom, joy and success!

I hope this have given you some insight into limiting beliefs and how to work through what yours might be. Energy healing like Kinesiology is a great tool to assist in identifying why/when/how these limiting beliefs began and then we can work on clearing the emotion and energy behind them. So if you need some support working through this or just don’t know where to start please get in touch for a Kinesiology session and let me help you live your best life!

Love and light,

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